Everything that's wrong with music is contained within the following list.
No, not the dance, hip-hop, pop and R&B, silly. All that Bangs-awful Animal Collective/Radiohead/Arcade Fire/Walkmen indie stuff.
Here's the Pitchfork Top 20 of the 00s. (Yes, the decade has ended already. A cynic might remark it's so their marketing people can get the adverts in before the pack. Pitchfork - commercially-led? Bangs forbid!) Of course they didn't stop with 20. They've gone and done bleedin' 500...I do hope that each of the folk who voted gave the music a numerical value exact to 10 decimal places. It's so great, the way music can thus be reduced to meaninglessness.
This list is a great example of the problem with consensus voting. And the inherent problem with putting a numerical value or chart placement on a piece of music. I mean, wtf. Two LCD Soundsystem tracks? I never liked New Order that much, even first time around.
Here's the chart (and you wouldn't believe how great the temptation is to fuck with this, see (i) if anyone notices and (ii) if it gets reprinted and reported elsewhere as fact).
1. Outkast – B.O.B.
2. LCD Soundsystem – All My Friends
3. M.I.A. – Paper Planes (Diplo Remx) (Feat. Bun B and Rich Boy)
4. Beyoncé – Crazy in Love (Feat. Jay-Z)
5. Daft Punk – One More Time
6. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Maps
7. Missy Elliot – Get Ur Freak On
8. Radiohead – Idioteque
9. Animal Collective – My Girls
10. Arcade Fire – Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)
11. Gnarls Barkley – Crazy
12. Outkast – Hey Ya!
13. LCD Soundsystem – Losing My Edge
14. Jay-Z – 99 Problems
15. The Knife – Heartbeats
16. The Rapture – House Of Jealous Lovers
17. Annie – Heartbeat
18. Hercules and Love Affair – Blind
19. R. Kelly – Ignition (Remix)
20. The Walkmen – The Rat
Whether or not you like the Pitchfork house writing style, one fact is inarguable. They have shit taste in guitar-led music. And some very savvy marketing people.
Oh, come on. Cheer up. It ain't all bad. It gives me a chance to up this video again.
Of course I'm going to ask for your list, or at least, a top ten.
ReplyDeletei dont even see any bands up there that play guitars..it's like television never existed. nor stooges nor anything/something?
ReplyDeleteall i can say is white people are tripping these days.
ReplyDeleteWell. I don't do lists. But out of theirs, I like.
ReplyDelete4. Beyoncé – Crazy in Love (Feat. Jay-Z)
6. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Maps
7. Missy Elliot – Get Ur Freak On
11. Gnarls Barkley – Crazy
12. Outkast – Hey Ya!
Will that suffice for a Top 5? They're all fine songs: and I really can't see the point in putting them in competition with others. It won't increase my enjoyment of any of those.
indeed, willy! indeed.
ReplyDeleteno Queens of the Stone Age? fuck pitchfork, man.
(From Facebook)
ReplyDeleteSean McNulty
Many of these tracks were glorified in the 'indie' press 'early on', such as your own Plan B, mister true
11 hours ago · Delete
Everett True
Dude, just cos others liked them didn't mean I did. It's not so much those tracks inclusion, it's a) they see fit to reduce a decade's music to a numerical value, and b) they clearly have shit taste in guitar-led music
10 hours ago · Delete
Sean McNulty
I agree to a large extent. It's a general problem that has existed since the nineties. Like a bunch of cabin fevered librarians, we gather, stack, and rate. Suddenly, we're all sitting down on a Saturday evening in front of the telly, gleefully watching Nick Hornby on Channel 4 listing his Top 5 BBC period dramas.
4 hours ago · Delete
Ian Edward Wade
I looked through it the other night and found it a little bit wonky. I found the possibility of The New Pornographers/ Dirty Projectors etc making records that were THAT good a bit preposterous. Even their pop choices have the feel of some patronisation. I laughed at how low some really good tunes were, baffled at how they could deem Mary by Scissor Sisters better than I Don't Feel Like Dancin' or Take Your Mama, and thought overall that it was a bit 'correct' or 'this is what we should claim have never been off our stereos'. Completely baffling how a 2009 single by Bat For Lashes is deemed better than any Arctic Monkeys tracks (who don't feature at all).
Although I do love LCD Soundsystem like my own child, even I'd be a bit wary of publishing an ultimate chart where three of their tunes are in the Top 25
about an hour ago · Delete
Urgh, the list was awful! If that was the noughties I must've slept through it - or listened to better music.
ReplyDelete